July 18, 2009

The world may be against me, but I'm going to attempt the absurd anyway...


Thanks mostly to my lovely sister, I have recently fallen smitten with a delightful little coffee blog published by a rather fine chap from Square Mile Coffee Roasters in London. I adore coffee and find all things associated with its production absolutely fascinating, so I especially love it when those in the industry take the time to share their knowledge and expertise with us, the plebeian consumers.

As I have only recently begun actively involving myself in the coffee scene, attending cupping sessions and whatnot, I tend to present merely as an observer, hovering on the periphery, snapping up snippets of information and beverage-y goodness without disturbing the waters, as is my quiet and unassuming nature. So when version two of the absurd challenge was proposed, the basic premise of which was to pour latte art with something silly, my thought patterns turned to items which I'd find amusing, all of which were prefaced with the phrase; "wouldn't it be hilarious if someone used a…" And then I thought…

One of the reasons for the conception of Team Pretty Bake was to take my mind off life being shit by tackling kitchen challenges in which I would hopefully find enjoyment and that would be a means to improving my culinary skills. So I concluded that this certainly sounded like a challenge (so much so that the exact terminology was even included in the title), so why the hell not give it a go?

I should point out beforehand that I am not a barista, nor have I ever been, and I have absolutely no latte pouring skills whatsoever. So please let you judgement of absurdity also include my rubbish attempt at what I would very loosely describe as latte "art". Here, therefore is my attempt at silliness in a culmination of my two selves; a research scientist by day, and lady baker by night…

video

Team Pretty Bake's offering of absurdity
featuring Miss Emily – lady baker, science nerd (and thankfully not a barista)

So there you have it. An amateur's attempt at the ridiculous, far from being a serious contender I'm sure, but certainly executed in the spirit of the challenge. Please visit the link above to check out the skilful entries submitted by serious coffee folk to understand both how far out of my league I actually am, and to watch some serious technicians at work.

I think we could all do with a little creative absurdity once in a while, don't you?

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So anyway, as for why I'm starting to get the feeling the world doesn't like me. My apologies for once again deviating from our usual foodie-fuelled fun, but I just need a brief rant. You understand… I'll admit I may be being a little fatalistic, but after all the horrible things that have happened in my life these last thirteen months, I didn't really need this…

For all those inattentive drivers out there who pay less attention at roundabouts than you possibly should; here's what happens when car meets bicycle and Miss Emily meets bitumen:


…my rather spectacular full sleeve (or should that be full pant?) of asphalt abrasions and subcutaneous contusions. 'Tis a far greater display of flesh than what I would normally be comfortable with, but it does seem inherently necessary to show of ones battle scars on the rare occasion of their acquisition. Those unfamiliar with the events of the past week will hopefully glean from my whimsical approach to the subject that I am in fact ok, just very battered, scraped and bruised; and quite a bit hurty. Perhaps this will also serve to demonstrate to those friends who believe our Sunday baking sessions are a little nana-esque, that while we here at Team Pretty Bake do like to project an image of elegance and refinement wherever possible (perhaps myself a little more-so than Miss Rose, ahem), we are also pretty tough little ladies who can be hardcore, bad-ass biyatches should the occasion call. \m/

3 comments:

pinknantucket said...

Ha ha I love your coffee decorations. Also I think you should eat cake this weekend, it is very healing. Also icecream. And rice pudding.

sal hart said...

ah what a combination.....science nerd, burgeoning barista and cage fighter..... also, did you see mr hoffman has taken it up a notch? this wednesday we're off to the round one throwdown of the [insert wrestling announcer voice]ULTIMATE BARISTA FIGHTING LEAGUE .... http://ultimatebaristafighter.wordpress.com/2009/07/11/round-one/#comments

(also, we need to talk science paraphernalia...developing BW film provides sublime equipment geekery opportunities)

Miss Emily said...

ooh, jealousy abounds! Damn this living in opposite hemispheres. Why can't I know people with lycra tweed jumpsuits? Sigh! That will be most awesome for you indeed.